Soliciting some P&PTs for my FIL

[fimbrethiel]

I've got a lot of nerve, right? Disappearing for months on end with nary an explanation in sight (they were good reasons, I promise), then popping  up out of the blue and asking for some positive thoughts, but...

My father-in-law has kidney cancer. The tumor is 'bigger than a softball', he told me yesterday, and one kidney is completely dead. A few weeks ago he had the first of two surgeries in which the blood supply to the kidney and tumor was tied off, hoping to basically starve it and cause it to die. He's scheduled for a second surgery on Thursday. The surgeon will remove the dead kidney, the tumor, the lymph nodes, and the adrenal gland.

FILwill spend 5-7 days in the hospital. At this time it's unknown whether any cancer cells have spread or whether there is cardiac involvement. He told me that chemotherapy is ineffective over 95% of the time for this type of cancer. Long-term prognosis is unknown.

FIL is a bit of an asshole, but still, he's my hubby's dad, you know? Steve is feeling very conflicted right now. He's been so angry with his dad for so long that now he doesn't quite know how to feel. He's still angry about a lot of things, but he's also feeling guilty about being angry.

Prayers, positive thoughts, and flaming chickens would be appreciated.

Comments

[silver-trails.livejournal.com]

I will be praying for your FIL. I hope he recovers.

Angry, or not, it will give your husband peace of mind to see and maybe forgive his father. And anger is normal, even if you are not angry with the sick person. It's like: we haven't yet set things right, and you might be dying? That makes one angry, even if you love the sick person.

[ryo-of-imratdor.livejournal.com]

Sending my warmest thoughts and prayers your way, hon. *hugs*

[chaotic-binky.livejournal.com]

I will keep your FiL in my prayers.

*hugs*

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Thinking good thoughts for your FiL and also for Steve - I can only imagine how rough the emotional conflict must be for him.

[jaiden-s.livejournal.com]

Prayers sent

[minuial_nuwing]

I am so sorry, dearest. **hugs you tight** Sending good thoughts and prayers out for all of you. Chickens will be lit.

**loves**

[aglarien1.livejournal.com]

I've added him to the prayer list, Fim.

*hugs*

[fimbrethiel]

That's very true. I see a lot of that even within myself. I get very angry about my husband's illness, but not at him. Unfortunately, sometimes it seems that way to him.

Thanks, CC!

[fimbrethiel]

Thanks, Ryo. We'll know more about his prognosis after the surgery on Thursday.

[fimbrethiel]

Thanks, Binky. We'll know more on Thursday after his surgery whether he'll need further treatment or not.

[fimbrethiel]

Thanks, sweetie. They have a very strained relationship. Rather, Steve finds it strained to pretend to be the loving and dutiful son. FIL is just oblivious and has no idea there's anything wrong, because he's kind of a doofus that way.

We'll know more after surgery on Thursday. *hugs*

[fimbrethiel]

Thanks, Jai. Personally I find FIL a bit pretentious, but I don't wish him ill. And he sired a pretty good guy. Three of them, in fact, so he's got some good qualities in there. =)

[fimbrethiel]

Thanks, sweetie. Cancer isn't something you'd wish on anyone, no matter how much they bug the ever-loving snot out of you. =)

We'll know more on Thursday whether he'll need immune therapy or not. Supposedly, this type of cancer isn't a candidate for chemo.

MIL is entirely freaked out, of course, and justifiably so. FIl is of the old "I made the money, I wear the pants" school. I think she's overwhelmed by the thought of having to make the decisions.

*hugs*

[silver-trails.livejournal.com]

I can understand thatl. I was very angry when my father got cancer.

Welcome, dear.

*hugs*

[fimbrethiel]

Thanks, Agie! He and Steve don't have the closest of relationships, but no one wants this to happen to ANYONE. EVER. *nods* We'll know more on Thursday. I'm crossing my fingers.

[aprilmoon08.livejournal.com]

He will be in my thoughts as well. As for your husband, sometimes forgiveness is best. Best to let the embrace what time he has with his dad.

[weepingnaiad.livejournal.com]

Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers, m'dear. No matter how we feel about our parents, they are still our parents and this kind of thing is particularly difficult.

*squishes*